Quiet Quitting: Based on Personality & Needs || BiblicalPsych || S1 EP.7
So why are people quite quitting? Quitting becomes the desired option when certain needs aren’t met. We can learn a thing or two about quitting and how to divert it from a few people in the Bible.
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We innately are not quitters. Typically, a baby will not stop crying until you satisfy their needs. A toddler won’t stop running in the street unless you chase after them and grab their hand. A teenager will keep doing what you tell them not to…well of course unless the punishment supercedes the perceived value of the reward of rebellion.
So why are people quite quitting? Quitting becomes the desired option when certain needs aren’t met. We can learn a thing or two about quitting and how to divert it from a few people in the Bible.
(1) Hannah quit because she was being mistreated. Her “boss” so to speak was treating her so poorly (possibly justifiable but I’ll let you decide) that she ran away. The only reason she returned was because God told her to…otherwise she and her child would have died.
Why?
Hannah quit because the leadership was harsh and the “work environment” was toxic.
Assessment?
Gather a consensus on your office culture. Do people perceive it as toxic or healthy? Do people desire to “run away” at 5 pm or do they look forward to giving an extra hour if required? Would they say you are understanding, compassionate, loving, and considerate? If not, what would they say?
Antidote?
Espouse an attachment leadership style (Dr. Small trains leaders on how to implement an attachment leadership style). Essentially you focus your energy on forming a bond with each employee. You take the time to see, hear, and connect with each of them according to their unique personality and needs. You know their triggers and you know their attachment language (similar to “love language”)…yes, “love” matters even at work.
(2) Jeremiah wanted to quit so much so that he even cursed the day that he was born. He was essentially leading hardheaded people and he had enough and wanted out of his position. Although he wanted to quit he did not because his passion wouldn’t let him. He called it a fire shut up in his bones.
Why?
Jeremiah came seconds away from quitting because the people he was leading would not listen. No matter what he said they chose to do the contrary. They under minded and undercut him as a leader?
Assessment?
How have you actively demonstrated that you value your team? Do they feel like their contributions are adhered to or do they feel as if their voice does not matter? Pay attention to the one who use to speak up but now remains silent. Pay attention to the one who has become aggressive and overly dominate. If they were not this way before then inquire as to why they are now? I wouldn’t be surprised if they are feeling the same way Jeremiah felt.
Antidote?
What meaning does one have when they come to work with you? Humans often search for the meaning of life. If the passion is waning then find a way to reignite the WHY behind what you all do. Attach a meaningful cause to bolster altruism if needed. What’s the irresistible offer to retain them based on what motivates THEM?
Not everyone is motivated by the same things. Some ma y desire money and power while others may desire upward mobility, freedom, connectivity, joy, and the likes. Find out what moves them and present them with an offer that they can’t resist.
(3) Job desired to quit because he was under undue pressure without relief. One moment he was fine and the next moment his world was flipped upside down: his children and cattle died, his “staff” left him, his friends kept blaming him and had zero empathy, and his home life was in shambles as his wife told him to just curse God and die. If that isn’t enough pressure to make you crumble I don’t know what is. How do you survive under so much pressure and no relief? Some people don’t and they quit.
Why?
Job desired to quit because when his world was caving in he had no one to turn to and help carry the burden and load. When we breach past allostatic load we are at high risk for burnout.
Assessment?
Is your staff on the verge of quitting because you’ve placed too much pressure on them with not enough support and release of their burdens? How do your employees feel supported (beyond your EAP offer of 8 to 12 therapy sessions?)
Antidote?
Try giving intentional breaks and freedom to the employees that are in this space. Who wants to feel stuck and constrained? Especially if they already feel that way in their personal life; what a double whammy. Try offering hybrid work, limit meetings on one particular day and allow for creative thinking, reward healthy behavior breaks while in the office such as taking a walk or completing a mediation exercise.
You may not be a clinician but call them into the office monthly and genuinely ask about their personal life. They may not care to share if they want to keep work and their personal life separate but it will at least account for something that you asked and actually awaited their response. You will be greatly rewarded by giving them ample opportunities to release the pressure and offload.
(4) Moses didn’t want to be the one to lead his people out of slavery. His excuse was, “I’m not eloquent but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” Perhaps he had a stuttering problem and it aided his insecurity. Our insecurities often make us run and hide and that sure enough is what Moses did; he ran from this huge responsibility. God attempted to encourage Him by saying, “I made your mouth” basically but Moses still persisted that God chose someone else.
Why?
Moses desired to quit because he didn’t feel like he was good enough. He didn’t believe he had what it took. He believed that his insecurities were more powerful than God’s ability to still use him powerfully despite his limitations.
Assessment?
What resources do you offer your current employees to aid in upskilling? What about resources to aid in a faster time-to-productivity for new employees? “Learning ecosystems” have proven efficient in improving performance.
Antidote?
Although Moses wanted this responsibility to be passed on to someone else, God didn’t allow it. He simply “enrolled” Moses into a “buddy system” and his brother, Aaron, became his spokesman. So Moses was to speak to Aaron and Aaron was then to translate what he heard to the people.
Have you considered pairing your employees regardless of performance? Even the best of the best need a healthy interaction with peers and mentors. Who knows, you just may unearth a stellar leader whose been standing on the sideline and just needed that extra push by way of intentional pairing to boost their confidence thus their visibility and value.
Decision making: Prudent Avoid the Avoidable || BiblicalPsych || S1 EP.6
The one who is sensitive to the warnings of the spirit will escape avoidable drama, trauma, and stress/headache in relationships, the workplace, and in every area of their life.
Avoid the avoidable by knowing if you are a Type I or Type II error maker (statistical hypothesis testing jargon but the video explains ;-) ).
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Proverbs 22:3 MSG
“A prudent person sees trouble coming and ducks; a simpleton walks in blindly and is clobbered.”
Moral Stress and Celibacy || BiblicalPsych || S1 EP.5
Sex or not to sex in a sex culture?
There’s this constant pressure to engage in premarital sex and for some, this can be overwhelming. If this is you, you may feel like you are being judged or ostracized for your choices, and you may struggle to find support or understanding from those around you.
In a culture that places a high value on sexual activity, celibacy is often considered "antiquated" by many. Celibate folk may worry that they are missing out on valuable opportunities for connection, intimacy, and pleasure.
So how do you cope with such moral stress?
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 AMP
“For this is the will of God, that you be sanctified [separated and set apart from sin]: that you abstain and back away from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor [being available for God’s purpose and separated from things profane], not [to be used] in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God and are ignorant of His will; and that [in this matter of sexual misconduct] no man shall transgress and defraud his brother because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we have told you before and solemnly warned you.
For God has not called us to impurity, but to holiness [to be dedicated, and set apart by behavior that pleases Him, whether in public or in private]. So whoever rejects and disregards this is not [merely] rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you [to dwell in you and empower you to overcome temptation].”
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1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 AMP
“For this is the will of God, that you be sanctified [separated and set apart from sin]: that you abstain and back away from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor [being available for God’s purpose and separated from things profane], not [to be used] in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God and are ignorant of His will; and that [in this matter of sexual misconduct] no man shall transgress and defraud his brother because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we have told you before and solemnly warned you.
For God has not called us to impurity, but to holiness [to be dedicated, and set apart by behavior that pleases Him, whether in public or in private]. So whoever rejects and disregards this is not [merely] rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you [to dwell in you and empower you to overcome temptation].”
Discover & Rediscover Your Purpose || BiblicalPsych || S1 EP.4
Your God-given purpose is the unique path that God has planned for your life. It's the reason you were born, and it's what you were created to do. But how do you discover your God-given purpose?
Your God-given purpose may not be the same throughout your entire life. As you grow and change, your purpose may evolve and develop.
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Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV
““Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.””
Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Colossians 1:16 NKJV
“For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.”
Mind of Christ vs. Mind of Culture || BiblicalPsych || S1 EP.3
Minimize distractions that feed you CULTURE over CHRIST. Transform your mind to line up with God's will so that you will begin to see the fruit of your dreams and visions.
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Romans 12:2 MSG
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.